Monday, October 29, 2012

Hot dog I say cool it man

This last month it's like I've decided to play grown up and have doing a few activities that people my age have probably been doing for years but I always poo poo'd because I was always out having too much other fun. The missus has even commented that I'm turning into a real old man and as soon as I'm done telling these kids to get off my lawn I'll sit down and tell you all about it.

Last weekend we went to the Batlow Apple Blossom Festival and it was heaps fun. We weren't really sure what to expect, neither of us having been to Batlow before but like everyone in Australia we have seen Batlow apples in the supermarket. I don't know what I was more impressed with, the town or the festival. We rock up on a Friday afternoon and the towns is pretty empty. We check into what seems to be the only hotel next to what seems to be the only restaurant (why do all R.S.L Clubs always have Chinese Restaurants?) and 1 block from what seems to be the only the coffee shop...and straight away I like it. The people who run the hotel talk to you as if you were friends 20 years ago and its good to see you again. We walked to the local supermarket to get some supplies and see people pulling up out the front and walking inside, leaving their cars unlocked and windows down. Head to the restaurant for dinner and people are talking to people other than those they came to dinner with because most people in small towns know most of the other people. It's a very friendly atmosphere and much more like the town I grew up in as opposed the significantly more isolating attitude Canberran's seem to take. Next day, after polishing off some of the best coffee I ever recall drinking we head to the festival to catch the local school choirs performing. They aren't great but that's not the point. The kids have fun and the oldies smile.The markets have lots of local crafts and produce, I stuff myself silly on gozleme and kransky, Chace loves the animal petting area and the dudes doing huge backflips and cliffhangers on mini motocross bikes get everyone pumped. It really is a great time and I reckon we may end up back there next year.

The weekend just gone saw us truck along to The Canberra Times Home, Leisure, Caravan, 4WD, Camping Show. Retarded name but a really damn cool show. Over the last few years I've been slowly stocking up on stuff to make the move from blokes camping to family camping. So while I still have a swag for throwing on the ground next to the fire, I've also got a tent and air mattress. Instead of crouching over a hole with a bog roll on a shovel handle, I have a portapotty and fold up thunderbox. Next step is to stop taking a cake of soap down to the river/lake and figure out a better way of getting clean. At the Crazy Name Show (CNS from now on) they had a portable hot water system that was gas powered, sucked cold water from a bucket up a hose and ejected out warm water out of a hand held shower head. Not sure I want to go that cushy, it still needs to feel like camping to some degree. But I might consider one of those awesome camper trailers. I reckon they had about a hundred different varieties of camp trailer, differents brands, sizes, configurations and level of comfort. I dont need any of the huge 30k numbers and I won't be taking it over any really crazy 4wd tracks but one something that can hold the hold family, handle a little off road and fold down so I can flip the tinny up on top is definitely on the cards in the coming years. The CNS also had some cool 4WD demos with some competition drivers doing some crazy stuff. Good to look at but I dont think the wife will be up for a whole lot of that action. Plus I dont think I want to be re-engineering the Surf in that way. Best demo was definitely the guy showing lures and winding techniques in a big glass sided fish impound. As a fisher guy its sometimes hard to know whats going on under the water and this was the best insight I've ever had. Mad keen for the upcoming hot season and definitely eager to see if I can get out amongst some of the local perch. Maybe see if Chace can catch his first reddy. So a good show just in time for outdoor season.

Well that's burnt me out, this old body needs sleep.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

One door closes, another door closes

I have this awesome Bill Hicks documentary that I recommend everyone should watch. In fact anything with Hicks on it is worth owning. At one point in the documentary it's mentioned that Bill's research for comedy material consisted of following the media and making fun of stuff that pissed him off. I kind of thought I might do the same for the occasional blog entry, but not too often as the blog could end up too ranty and I don't want to spend all my time pissed off. But pissed off I am so here's some of the stuff I read that increased my hate for humanity just that bit more.

A mate posted this article on Faecesbook recently and I had to laugh. It's about people drinking cocktails with liquid nitrogen in it. If the author was trying to elicit sympathy for the girl they totally failed. When someone does something stupid and they get hurt you don't feel sorry for them, you laugh because they fucking deserved it! But that wasn't what pissed me off. Here's the quote that pissed me off...'Local director of public health Dr John Aston said Ms Scanlon was the victim of an "irresponsible alcohol industry that's now competing on gimmicks."'  Sorry, what? She bought a drink knowing it had liquid nitrogen in it and she's a victim? Why is the girl not responsible for her own fucking actions? It's potentially dangerous, slap a warning label on the fucker and if people still buy it then it's their own fucking problem. I'm fucking sick of people blaming everyone else but the perpetrator for shitty fucking mistakes. You'd expect a doctor to be an educated man but it seems like he lost his logic somewhere. Or perhaps he likes getting his name in the newspaper.

And while we're on the topic of babying the fucking world, the debate about an R18+ rating for computer games in Australia is unfortunately not done and dusted, with the WA government deciding they're gonna fuck us around just a bit longer and stand up a committee to discuss the supposed issue. This disturbs me on so many levels. One official said that an R18+ rating would “introduce a level of violence that children and young people weren’t exposed to before.” OK, right there she's made a mistake in that she doesn't understand what an R18+ classification is. An R18+ classification restricts the sale of the game to a minor. It's a simple concept that only a moron could confuse. But it seems morons are everywhere. Here's what a guy from Attorney General's Office had to say, "The consequences are that R18+ computer games that are suitable for adults only would be able to be purchased by children. Retailers would be able to sell them to children with impunity." Again, complete misunderstanding of what an R18+ classification is about. These blockheads seem to think that introducing laws against supplying these games to minors is somehow magically going to put the games in kids Xmas stockings! It's about preventing minors from buying a game and advising responsible adults that children should not be exposed to its content. Having an R18+ classification is the OPPOSITE of what these guys are claiming it is. How do these dipshits get jobs?  The other side of the coin is that these fuckers are claiming that we're so bad at raising our children that they have to protect them from our shitty parenting. How fucking insulting! If someone running for office think you can't raise a kid, vote for someone else. If a public official doesn't understand basic concepts, call for their resignation. People shouldn't have to stand for this shit!

We now resume our normal transmission...

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Helter Skelter

tl;dr version - I like making mixed tapes. I'm making a mix tape for BW and its gonna be awesome. Kids these days don't even know where to begin when it comes to appreciating good music.


A guy asked me at work the other day if I could recommend some metal music that would be good to listen to while running. I thought about it for 3 seconds and knew the answer was groove metal. Stylistically it's paced well, not slow or stupidly fast, and there's a big focus on the work of the drummer, which something that carries well when you're out on a 10km run. The answer sparked a bit of a conversation between my  coworkers about the various styles of metal, which for most part is unknown territory to pretty much all of them. Of course they've heard of some of the band names, perhaps heard the music a few of the commercially successful bands and the real keen ones might have tried to venture further, heard a death growl and promptly hit the stop button. I listed off a heap of the different metal sub genres and I think there may have been a brief musical comparison between rock or metal, although that could have been a past conversation from another day (these things tend to jumble).

So a challenge was laid down. Make a mix tape of metal. Specifics weren't delved into so I'm taking a few liberties in this area. I assume a cd is a suitable substitute for a tape. While I have a tape deck and a few tapes I'm not sure the years have been kind to either. I also assume the mix was to contain as many sub genres as possible. The challenge as I now see it is to fit as much metal into 80 mins that gives the most well rounded view of the genre. Sounds easy when ya put it like that, right? ;)

I consider myself a bit of mixed tape master. Decades ago I'd sit with my cousin in his bedroom pretending we were radio DJs, making up a mix of tunes we liked with voice over stuff in between like we were really on the air. Then later when I got to high school and into metal, tape trading was huge. Living in a rural setting with a taste for music that was far from the mainstream made it very hard to get new music. Most stores would order the few token metal tapes (and later cds) or you had to be aware of what albums were available (before interwebs remember) and order them in. I remember pouring through a drab, alphabetical print out from some distributors database look for metal albums I knew or had heard of, hoping to find something worthy of the few measly dollars I'd managed to save. So we traded tapes. Blank tapes weren't free either so getting whole albums was something you only saved for the best albums and to find the best albums we made compilations for friends. Mixes of everything I thought was great would go onto a tape and get sent off to mates with the expectation they'd do the same in return. When we hit stuff we liked, we'd get a copy and if we REALLY liked, we'd get the store to order it for us.

Technology has changed a lot since then and I don't think the advancements have really encouraged people to appreciate music properly. I mean why would someone listen to a song, I mean truly listen to a song, when they don't have to be selective? Getting right into those drums fills, listening to every nuance of a solo, the word choices made in the lyrics, looking for the songs that are worthy of your collection...gone. Because space isn't an issue. Because acquiring more music takes seconds rather than weeks. For the masses, music has become more and more a throw away commodity. No one takes the time to enjoy everything that's gone into a song, so popular "artists" don't need so much talent and most of the real talented musicians are ignored. There are exceptional young individuals who see music much differently but unfortunately they are the minority. But I still make mixed tapes, or mixed cds to be precise, and I still love doing so for people I know will appreciate them.

So climbing back off a tangent, how to make a mixed tape encompassing metal?  Start at the start? The pre-metal progenitors? It started with The Beatles - Helter Skelter if you were wondering. Others may put forward some other possibilities and I would readily admit that those songs were indeed part of the roots of metal, but they would only have 1 or 2 elements which would later make up the metal style. While Helter Skelter isn't metal, its got a lot more going for it stylistically which would emerge later as some of the defining characteristics of metal. But that's possibly not what this cd is about. So we move to Black Sabbath. Claiming any other band as the fathers (or is it grandfathers now?) of metal would be false. There were a lot of contributors to early metal and ignoring them (especially Deep Purple) is a crime. But Sab is it! The First! The cd could quickly become a metal timeline, tracking the branches through the decades, following through to each twisted twig or flourishing leaf. Ok, I just tried to glamour that up a little because the end result would be as dry as a history essay and the entertainment value would be drained from it. And then there's the 80 min limit to think about.

While I'm going to toss the timeline idea, I'm thinking it's a great place to start. My new plan is to start at the roots, build up a list of songs that are important in metal, add a great example of each of the sub genres (well at least the ones I have cds for) and end up with a mega metal playlist...and then chop it by about half so it fits on the cd. The culling will be the most difficult because a good mix tape needs to flow, songs need to gel and moods need to be created. The whole cd needs to ebb and flow, so as well as history lesson the listener can enjoy everything that's going on. Unlike clicking play on a 3000 song playlist the cd needs a start, a ride and an end. And that's the fun part :)